Friday, November 30, 2012

The Angel's Agony

The image came to me in the dying moments of dusk, just before blue was lost to black. Like so many others, it came inscribed intact on my heart, a visual story rendered complete, all details in place, each attaining vivid focus with gentle scrutiny.

In the cold wind he stands on the edge of a barren precipice ready to jump, this man entrusted to my care, this man whom I love. The joy on his face shines mirrored on the reflective snake scales below, glimmering as eyes of a thousand medusae with a single siren's voice.

In the silence of the scene he does not hear my pleas of caution; he is tired of my knowing so maintains a deafness through distance. Desperate, from many meters behind him I  grab for his waist to pull him back, protect him in my hold, nestle him small in my chest. But my arms grab air - no, my arms are air.

Unable to hold him I stand stunned, transfixed by my skin the color of my off-white petticoat; layers of skin and clothing so translucent I can see the earth through my body, the scrub underfoot standing unaffected by any weight. I am air.

Why this burden of insubstantiality? The glare from the snake scales blind and taunt, the strong light so much more material than I will ever be.

"Sacrifice him" whispers Truth, and the tears that run down my translucent face burn as acid through metal - grooves etched in vapor til they drop to the ground.

He is already in flight, only the tip of one foot - barely touching the edge of the precipice - ties him back to safety.

I wait to turn away.



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